


That Time I Picked Up a Touga in a Bar

by SonicoSenpai



Series: Established Relationships [3]
Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Bonding, Cat Ears, Consensual Kink, Consensual Non-Consent, Established Relationship, Five Years Later, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Ok it’s ridiculously fluffy, Original Universe, Past Child Abuse, Public Blow Jobs, Public Sex, Role-Playing Game, Safe Sane and Consensual, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Roleplay, Tails, Weirdly Consensual for this Universe, meow, omfg I just traumatized myself with that last chapter so this is super self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:44:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16555151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/pseuds/SonicoSenpai
Summary: It’s five years after Rai’s good ending in the original Lamento BTV universe, and it’s just past Antou—Rai and Konoe are on their second day of a rather heated mating season. Rai has been indulging Konoe in his sexual role play games—and this time, Konoe takes the lead.While this is technically consensual non-consent—this fic does contain some rough sex and rather rough role play, so be forewarned! It’s all kindly intended, however—but I thought I’d let you know.Also: there’s a reference toward the end to some abuse that Rai suffered as a child. I thought I’d put it in there as a warning.You know when you’ve spent two days writing a single super-kinky non-consensual chapter and you feel just a little dirty? That’s why this little fic came about. It’s all about self-soothing, people!





	That Time I Picked Up a Touga in a Bar

“Last night was fun,” Rai is saying to me at dinner. “Is your back feeling all right?” 

The dining room at Bardo’s isn’t exactly filled to capacity because of the mating season, but there are still quite a number of cats here. I’m shocked Rai would bring up this conversation now—in front of everybody.

“Um, yeah,” I say, hesitantly. “I enjoyed myself, too. And my back is fine, but I’m not really sure _now_ is a good time to discuss it.”

“Discuss what?” Bardo asks, poking his nose in where it doesn’t belong, probably because he notices my ears are blushing.

“I was just going to invite my Sanga out for drinks,” Rai replies. “But it appears he’s giving me the cold shoulder.”

“I am not!” I say, now flustered. “I just didn’t want to go into any further... details.” 

Something warm and wet touches the tip of my ear—he’s licking me—right here, openly—in the dining room.

“You’re blushing—how cute—and my gods, you smell so good,” the words are whispered low in my ear. “Won’t you play with me again tonight?”

My ear quivers slightly under his touch, and several other cats are watching our interaction. It’s easy for him since he can reach my ears from where he sits, leaving me to deal with my response. But seriously—this is our second day of the heat, and he smells so good to me, and that touch sends a bolt of electrical charge pulsing down my body, and I’m supposed to _not_ react? That’s impossible. Instead, I bite the inside of my cheek.

“This time... why don’t you pick me up?” Rai suggests.

My ears twitch at this suggestion.

“Perhaps I might... play hard to get.” His voice is low and filled with heat. 

I crane my neck to look at his face—I want to see if he’s being serious. We haven’t tried this before, but I’m intrigued.

I feel his hand brushing my tail, which is behaving rather wantonly, undulating back and forth slowly behind me. Rai smirks slightly.

“After all these years, you still wear your emotions so openly—if not always on your face. Looks like you’re rather into the idea. Come on. I’ll walk you.”

We walk to the bar together—it’s such a seedy place—and I notice on the way that there are only a few cats out. Some are skulking around, looking for willing (or even unwilling) partners, and some are unable to control themselves and doing things even I wouldn’t do in the back alleys. But during the mating season, that’s to be expected, and I look away. 

Instead, I look up at my silver cat, whose gaze drifts off down those alleys, and I’m wondering what he’s thinking. I hope— _sincerely_ —that he _isn’t_ thinking what I _think_ he’s thinking. But then, he opens his mouth.

“We’ve never done it in an alley,” he murmurs. 

Ugh! I knew it! _Damn_ it.

“That’s because it’s _indecent_ ,” I hiss. “And it’s _dirty_ and unsanitary! And unsafe—someone might _see_ us!”

“So... you’re saying you’d be unwilling... even if _I_ wanted to?” His voice slides into my ear in the gentle way only his can, and it sounds so soft and tender. So... tempting.

“Well,” I hear myself saying, “it really depends on how bad you wanted it.” Damn it, Konoe! Shut the fuck _up_! What is _wrong_ with you?

“What if I was just so excited I couldn’t hold myself back? What if I couldn’t _wait_ to get back to the inn? What if I found you simply too irresistible? And I couldn’t keep my hands to myself?” I can’t help feeling a slight foreboding in these words of his.

“Um...” again, my foolish voice responds all on its own. “It would depend on the situation.” What am I saying? Gods _damn_  this heat! This is going to come back and bite me in the ass! I know it! 

“So you aren’t saying _never_.” That purring sound he makes when he is _really_ excited is filling out the spaces between his words and is making my fur ruffle up.

“My gods!” I burst out. “ _No_ , I’m not saying no. If it’s what you really wanted!” 

Rai gives me a broad smile, showing me two rows of perfectly straight teeth, and his ears perk up happily, and his tail—also fluffed out gorgeously—gives a broad wave in a pleased arc. Gods, he is fucking _adorable_. Stop looking like that before you walk into the bar! I want to shout at him, but I bite my lip.

“You will be thankful for being so amenable. Go in first,” he pushes me inside, patting my ass. “Then pick me up, if you can.”

I push open the door, sit down at the end of the bar, and order a kuim cider. I’m not going to drink as much as I did last night if he has something crazy planned. The bartender eyes me again, winking at me. 

“Konoe, good to see you.”

“Good evening,” I say, slightly uncomfortable—remembering how I, um, _left_ here yesterday.

“I’m surprised to see you’re still able to walk. I was worried about you. Your partner looked awfully... enthusiastic. There may have been bets made on whether you’d make it through the season _unharmed_  or not.”

I feel my ears getting hot at his comment, but I blow a defeated sigh. He has a point!

“Well, that remains to be seen, doesn’t it? Just get me my drink,” I say.

He laughs and pours the cider from the tap.

“This batch turned out really sweet. Let me know what you think. You’re our resident expert on kuim cider, kid,” he smiles at me.

I lower my ears and take a sip. 

I can tell Rai is in the room now—his scent tickles my nose—and he’s sitting at the other end of the bar. I take a few sips of my drink—and it is very sweet with a nice sour aftertaste—it’s good. I take a few more sips off the top before I carry it over to the end of the bar. 

There is another cat—a tall beige cat, possibly Setsuran—talking to Rai. Rai lets him down easily, and the cat stalks off. I set down my cider next to Rai.

“Mind if I sit here?” I ask. 

“Do what you want. I can’t stop you,” Rai said, looking down at me disdainfully. Shit. He _is_ playing hard to get. He reminds me of how he was when we first met. It sends a pleasant little shiver down my spine. 

The tall cat walking away gives me a sidelong glance and an obviously sniff, sampling my scent.

“Hey,” he says to me. “What’s a kitten as sweet as you doing in a place like this?” 

“Don’t bother,” I say. “I’ve got my eyes on _that_ one.” I tilt my chin toward Rai. Rai makes a clicking noise with his tongue, which makes my hair stand on end, and the tall cat smiles. 

“Good luck,” he says. “I’ll be over here waiting when he rejects you.” 

“Hmph. He won’t,” I huff. “What are you drinking? Barkeep, pour him another, on my tab.”

Rai glances up at me, looking at me up and down. 

“You’re awfully brave—a kitten your size—out alone on a night like this. Aren’t you afraid of being attacked?”

“Maybe that’s _exactly_ what I’m looking for,” I murmur. “You interested?” 

I watch those perfect little white ears twitch at my words, tail swishing, and he hides a smile.

“I could be. What did you have in mind?”

I notice the bartender’s eyes sliding over in Rai’s direction. My silver cat can’t help drawing attention wherever he goes. He’s tall, and his physique makes cats of both sexes take a second glance. Of course, the bartender knows that we are a couple, and he knows we are playing a game. He rolls his eyes at me and shrugs his shoulders, but I know he’s curious because his ears are tipped back in Rai’s direction. He can’t help himself. He saw Rai carry me out of the bar, kicking and screaming, last night. He can’t help but be curious about how tonight is going to go down. 

Leaning in close enough to brush his shoulder with mine, and also get a nice whiff of his strong enticing scent as well as let him take in some of mine—I murmur, “I haven’t quite decided. But I can be flexible.”

To my surprise, Rai says flatly, “You’ll have to do better than that.”

I can feel him taking in my scent, but his tone is so sharp and full of what sounds like rejection that it catches me completely off guard. I glance up at his face. It almost feels like a kick in the gut. 

He looks totally serious. However, his pale blue eye is full of challenge.

With that look, my hackles raise. _Challenge_ _accepted_. I turn my body around on my barstool, facing him completely. My mouth turns down into a pout, and the following words drop from my mouth: 

“Well, I’m looking for someone strong and powerful, with arms just like _these_.”

I reach out and touch his biceps, slowing dragging my claws down his upper arms—which I can see he is flexing beneath my fingers.

“ _Just_ like these,” I murmur again, staring admiringly, trying not to drool or remember _too_ many things these arms have done to my body—and gods, especially not recently!

“I see.” His head tilts a little to the side, spilling some of that lush hair onto my hands, allowing more of his scent to fill my nose. I know it’s deliberate—he’s trying to make me break my role. But I won’t. 

“Also—hands just like yours—large, powerful, firm but gentle—to strip off my _clothes_ —caress my bare _skin_ —grab handfuls of my hair—till I’m _begging_ for mercy...” and again, I find myself at the mercy of the heat—I can even smell my _own_ scent, which is very unusual. Usually, it’s much weaker on the second day, giving me a slightly weaker electrical stimulation when we first touch but still the benefit of easier penetration, requiring much less or very little preparation. But my fantasizing is getting me hard and ready and close to losing control, and it seems to be affecting me rather strongly—as well as several other cats in the bar. Rai’s fur is fluffing up, making his tail even fuller, and his ears larger, and his scent is also crazy sweet.

The bartender is gaping—and I swear he _must_ have heard what I said—and I feel myself blushing slightly. My Touga is now smirking down at me, almost pridefully.

“ _Now_ you’re talking about something that is approaching my interests—tell me _more_.” He moves his stool a little closer, and his hair swings even closer to me—and I cannot explain what it does to me—the silky feeling brushing against my skin and the nape of my neck, against my cheek—and that _scent_ —it’s delicious! “Tell me more about _you_ begging for _mercy_ ,” he purrs softly, directly into my ear, following his words with a soft, teasing lick to just the tip of my ear. It sends a jolt of electricity through my body that makes my bristled fur ripple with pleasure and sends another shiver down my spine.

“I want someone with lips as plush as yours,” I murmur. “Soft and full and experienced. Someone who isn’t afraid to use them not only on my mouth and ears but _all_ over my bare skin. I want to feel your lips, your tongue, and your teeth _all_ over my body until I’m screaming in ecstasy—helplessly.”

“Go on,” he urges me, nipping my ear again. 

“Your legs...” I purr. “They are lean and athletic—well-built and ripped. You could easily pin me down or hold me up with those legs. I should like to see them without these tight leathers—though your trousers leave nothing to the imagination.” I drag a claw along the outside of his thigh, which draws quite a few eyes. Rai is rather enjoying the demonstration, I think. I smile a little and look up at him through lowered lashes. 

“Yes?” Rai nudges me slightly with his nose. “You are drawing rather a lot of attention.”

“Am I? Do you dislike it? The attention, I mean? If you dislike it, you _could_ wear a looser style of trouser, I think.” I spin my stool back toward the bar and sip my cider to savor my triumph. There! I’ve _finally_ said it! After all this time—and I worked it into a _game_! I’m awfully proud of myself and think myself so freaking clever!

“Excuse me? Are you criticizing my outfit or _flirting_ with me, little kitty?” His voice turns sharp, and I feel my stool being turned back toward him rather forcefully.

Glancing up at him sweetly, I say, “All I’m saying is that you’re _asking_ for this kind of attention if you go out wearing leathers that show off your legs and ass like that.”

“And  _you’re_ saying _this_ to _me_?” he says, incredulously, his voice rising. Now we really _do_ have the attention of over half the people in the bar, several of them locals.

“What?” I ask. “My trousers are fine! I can move easily, and I never have to struggle to get my legs out of them! What are you talking about?”

Almost before I can finish my sentence, Rai pulls me from my chair and turns me around, pushing me up against the bar. He does it in one smooth motion, and he pushes hard, so I have to catch myself with both hands with my belly against the bar—and a helpless protesting sound comes out of my mouth. Leaning forward from his own chair, he hisses directly into the bristled fur of my ears, while I am precariously bent over the counter. I realize that I haven’t planned ahead so very well.

“I am not talking about your _legs_ , kitten. I’m talking about this delicious little ass you’ve been swaying to and fro since you’ve been in here—and your pants could _not_ be any tighter, so I don’t want to hear a _single_ word of fashion advice from _you_!”

Then, in front of the other patrons of the bar, for his own enjoyment and my humiliation, he begins to caress the part of me he was just discussing, making my tail fluff out in absolute indignation. This is _not_ the game we were playing, is it? Wasn’t I just trying to pick him up? And he was playing hard to get? How the _hell_ did it come to this? I struggle a little, but realize struggling will only make things worse for me—and possibly make things more interesting for him—so I simply bear it, feeling the heat rise in my ears, as they droop in mortification of being displayed in such an embarrassing way in front of everyone at the bar.

A surprising thought flashes through my mind, as I lower my burning face into my hands resting on the counter—as I am putting up with this little show of his—thinking of using my safe word. Wasn’t he talking about doing something _public_ on the way over here? In an alley, no less? Is this... could this possibly be preparing me for such a thing? A shudder of fear grips my chest—which is immediately followed with a surprising flow of blood to my nether regions—and I am shocked at my own response. Do I... _want_ this? Do I _like_ to be on display like this? Do I _enjoy_ this sort of domination play? This _public_ display of domination? His pretend “ownership” of me?

My body is certainly responding, especially how my tail behaves. It’s almost beckoning him, begging him to continue—and I hardly can understand my own body—but how long has it been doing that? Does Rai read my body language so well? I’m stunned.

Soon enough he releases me, and I take my seat—trying to take back any dignity I have left, unable to raise my gaze—knowing now that most of the patrons in the bar are waiting for me to stand up again so they can look at my ass. Parts of my brain are feeling mortified, but mixed with that strange body heat, I’m utterly confused! Then the ring on my finger glimmers in the low light and a rather wicked idea sparks in my head.

I lean forward in my seat just a little, toward my silver cat, and I let my hair brush against him, and a few words slip from my tongue, almost melodically, like I would a song.

“But don’t you wish that _you_ could be the one to leave the bar with that gorgeous ass you just so fondly caressed—tonight—in front of everyone here?”

And then I look up at that pale blue eye, lick my lips and display my fangs, and bat my lashes once, slowly. And I watch his pupil dilate fully—darkening the pale blue for a moment—and I can feel his pulse quicken from where he is sitting. That animalistic look of his—beast-Rai—almost frightens me—but I love him, too. I think I’m tempting him to come out and play.

“All you have to do is pay my bar tab,” I purr softly, lifting an eyebrow. 

Several coins appear from his pocket—and I have no clue how the hell he can fit anything in his pants pocket because I swear those pants are painted on—but he easily pulls out several coins and slaps them on the counter loudly. The bartender murmurs something that sounds like, “Thank Ribika, because the temperature is getting too damned hot in here,” as soon as he sees Rai grab my wrist and pull me from my chair.

“Let’s go.”

I give a wide smile—both my top and bottom teeth—to the bartender, who salutes me—and boldly to the tall Setsuran who had been talking to Rai earlier. Also, a few of the regulars who know us give us a round of applause—probably they are applauding me, since they know I’m terribly embarrassed by this sort of thing—as I leave, but I salute them as well, as though tipping my hat, and Rai grins. I hear a couple of “nice ass” comments as we leave.

I say “leave,” but really, I mean, “Rai drags me from the bar.” As soon as we get outside, we walk only a little way before Rai pulls me down a deserted, dark alley rather than heading back toward the inn. I start to feel very nervous, and I clear my throat.

“You asked _me_ , didn’t you? Having a change of heart?” His voice is almost a growl as I’m pushed up against the wall, roughly. It’s _dirty_ —and I’m not sure I like this.

“Um... _here_?” I ask anxiously, but Rai’s already pushing one of those muscular legs I was just admiring between mine, shoving it up between my thighs. It feels _good_.

“What of it?” he murmurs, just before landing a casual smooch on my mouth and holding me up against the wall. I try not to think about what kind of grime might be on the wall and is now getting in my hair, but Rai’s hands are running through it just the same.

“It’s just so... _dirty_ ,” I whisper. 

“ _Is_ it?” His returned whisper is surprisingly heated— _not_ what I intended at all. He sounds terribly _excited_ about the dirt, unfortunately for me, and I flatten my ears a little.

“You sound... rather excited about that,” I say under my breath, between kisses—and he is actually licking me now—licking my neck, my jaw, my fangs, my lips—pushing me up against the wall—and he is getting really into it, taking my breath away—and I’m feeling myself begin to come slightly undone.

“I like getting pure, innocent kittens like you just a _little_ bit dirty.” Those words are muttered right into my ear, which is soundly licked—and aggressively groomed—the fur moving every which way—which is the opposite of what he is saying. Mostly—I think what he is doing right now is enjoying my scent—and making me overwhelmed—or trying to. He knows that when he grooms me, his feelings flow into me and often start to overtake me—and they are starting to do that now. 

They are powerfully heated tonight—as though he has been holding himself back for weeks or months, which of course isn’t true, considering how hard he fucked me just last night—but his feelings are passionate, flowing like a waterfall. And as soon as he reaches my ears, I am pretty much helpless—and he knows it. 

“But what if someone sees us...” I whimper quietly, almost helplessly. 

“Then they catch a glimpse of something utterly gorgeous and get some wonderful fantasy material, don’t you think?”

A sharp intake of breath from me—almost making me rebuke him, using his name—I know that’s what he’s trying to make me do with all this touching. I do _love_ it—but it drives me crazy, and I’m a little frightened though I don’t feel unsafe, and I’m finding it distracting.

I am full of desire of my own, too—I want him just as much—but it’s a strange sensation to feel his desire so strongly at the same time. Last night, I was so flooded with fear and anxiety from our game that I was too distracted to let my walls down completely, so those feelings didn’t quite cross. I know the feelings only flow in one direction—I can only feel _his_ feelings. But I can communicate a lot to him through my song, so I will often sing softly when we are making love to let him know how I am feeling—and he gets a similar effect of the feelings that pour into me.

But during the mating season—we are both in heat—and what we feel is much more raw. Our bodies have a biological need to mate. When I first met Rai, he told me once that it didn’t matter if he was in heat or under the influence of catnip—he would still have the power to choose the partner he desired. It caused a misunderstanding—the first two times we connected, in fact. But I was so young then and taken so off-guard—and I didn’t understand anything about this silver cat. He was aloof, strong, untouchable to me back then. Now—I can reach out to him, even take his hand, or he will lend me his tail for comfort—whenever I need it or even simply desire it.

“You were _asking_ for it in that bar—don’t say I didn’t warn you. I told you kittens should not be out alone during this time of night. You never know what might happen to you.” 

“If you’re going to handle me like this, you’d better make it worth my while!” I snap suddenly. “I’m worth more than a quick grab and grope in an alley! Don’t think you can just feel me up and get yourself off!” I point my chin up at his face and yank down on his arms.

“Worth your _while_? Who exactly do you think you’re talking to? You’re the one who invited me!” 

“You dragged me out here to this... _filthy_ alley!” I am actually more than slightly disgusted with the alley, and it’s not easy to hide in my voice. I’m going to play up this angle.

Rai raises my chin to his face. “I _want_ to see you a little bit filthy, though. And you agreed to come with me. And so, here we are.” He kisses my chin, “I think it’s adorable you’re being such a princess about the location, though.”

“A _princess_?” I spit. 

“In the bar, you came off to me as slightly spoiled, but I had no idea exactly _how_ spoiled. Let me guess—only beds with down comforters for this lovely lithe form of yours?” His silky voice sounds teasing, but he runs his hands down the length of my body, and I realize my tunic is untucked and my sash and apron are removed, and my trousers—my gods—are halfway down my hips, stuck, of course, on the widest part of my ass. _When_ did he start undressing me? And _here_??

“I am _not_ spoiled—and I am _not_ a princess!” I retort, flustered. I grab my clothes desperately to cover myself.

“And if you keep up your griping, that voice of yours is going to attract just as much attention outside as it did in the bar,” Rai whispers. “I don’t _mind_ an audience. Hell, I’d fuck you on a _stage_ —saying, look at this amazing, spoiled princess with the most perfect ass anyone has ever seen—and tonight, I’m going to make him come undone completely, even if the walls are a little dirty. I’ll be making him so much dirtier.”

“When did you start stripping off my clothes?” I hiss.

“While you were yapping away, little kitty. So tell me—have you ever done it outside, in the grass?” His voice suddenly lowers. “I mean, you’re so fucking hot and ready to go that you can’t wait to pull out that blanket for your own comfort? You have to just fuck right then and _there_ —strike while the iron is hot, so to say—fuck the blanket and fuck your partner—because you just cannot wait? Have you ever been _that_ aroused?”

My ears flush, because, of course, he knows I have. In the beginning, I would get dirt and leaves and scrapes all over my body—but when Rai would see them, he would so graciously tend them for me—tenderly and more than enthusiastically, almost to a point of annoyance. So now, I try for top positioning outside, which mostly works better. But l got some pretty bad scrapes last night against that tree. It couldn’t be helped. But out there in the woods, at least we had privacy.

I look around again, and this is _not_ private. And it wasn’t so _dirty_!

“Are you serious? About _here_?” My ears lower slightly as his hand begins stroking my tail. 

“I would never joke about a thing like this. I tease, sure, but I would never joke about something I take so seriously.” He brushes his fingers through my hair—and it’s come loose. “You even have hair like a princess—like spun gold. So—maybe if I spoil you a little, you’ll see it my way?”

“Spoil me? Wha—ah!” I cannot finish my question, because Rai drops to his knees before me—in the filthy alley, I can’t help thinking—pushing me up against the dirty wall. But I feel one of his hands behind me, and it’s resting on my ass at the base of my tail, underneath my trousers. The other one skillfully frees my cock from my pants, letting my erection spring free. 

He wastes no time in popping my entire length in his mouth. It feels delicious! I nearly scream with pleasure when his warm wet tongue surrounds me, and he is more than enthusiastic about moving his lips and head. I watch that long, silver hair bob up and down, but his eye is looking up at me—watching my face.

I’m honestly overwhelmed by equal parts of fear and pleasure, and I feel his fingers on the hand at the base of my tail creeping lower toward my entrance.

“I’m not sure I can...” the words spill from my mouth as my stomach bends forward, but my hips arch back toward those tempting fingers. He glances up at me, his eye obviously sparkling in a smile and with power, and he pushes me back against the wall, sucking me harder and harder. I feel the stickiness of the filth against my shirt. “Ugh—yuck—no...” I murmur, and then I actually _meow_ when his fingers enter me.

At that sound, Rai pops my cock out of my mouth and stares up into my face, and I’m blushing furiously—embarrassed that such a sound would come out of my mouth—and _now_. Such a childish sound! At first, I’m afraid I’ve broken the mood, but he grins up at me, and I feel both his hands behind me spreading my cheeks, the tips of his fingers teasing my entrance—my ass is pressed up against that wall.

“Do you like it or don’t you?” He purrs—and that purr coming from down between my legs is nasty and rough and wet. “With a helpless little sound like that spilling from between those precious lips of yours, it’s _awful_ hard for me to tell.”

Suddenly, I wonder if he has actually had sex in a dirty, gross alley like this before—and a rush of shivers flows through my body—from my toes to the tips of my ears. All my fur fluffs out when I think about it—him taking another cat from behind, fucking him senseless, holding him against a wall just like this—or, oh my god—what if _he_ was served orally—his gorgeous silver hair getting covered in whatever filth is currently spreading itself on my lower back and matting my fur.

His hands are spreading my entrance and another finger is invading me—gods—right here—we’re really going to do this here? But my hips don’t mind one bit and are not sharing my reservations about being seen.

“Wh-what—ah—uh—what if we are—ah— _seen_? Ahh?!” And to my utter shame, he manages to pull another purring meow from my lips. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I finally have had enough and slam the back of my hand up against my mouth to prevent anything else embarrassing from spilling out. I know a lot of this is because of the heat—but also—he is still on his knees before me, playing my game—in this place—and my heart is racing. I can feel his silky hair brushing against my bare legs.

I haven’t been this excited or this confused since that very first time in the brothel, I think, and I don’t even remember making these childish sounds there! I was five years younger back then, too—but he must really have me at his mercy now.

He suddenly stands up, pushing the force of his body fully against mine, pressing my entire back against the wall.

“Are you afraid? Because you don’t _sound_ very afraid. You don’t _feel_ very afraid,” he purrs directly into my ear, licking me, grooming my ears wetly, leaving me dripping with saliva—much more than usual, sending shivers down my spine and back. “What are those little sounds you’re making, anyway? Those are just...” he sucks the tip of my ear into his mouth roughly and strokes my dick, “... _too_ adorable.”

Using almost excessive force, he turns my body around and forces me up against the wall, his hand still stroking my dick surprisingly gently. My stomach is pressed up against that stickiness, and I growl lowly.

“No—ugh—not like thi-“ I start to complain, but then both his hands move to my ass and begin stroking me again. One at the base of my tail—for just a moment—one at my entrance—brushing me lightly—it makes me arch back against him, my body moving all on its own.

Rai roughly yanks off my pants and underwear—leaving me feeling terribly naked and exposed here in this alley—standing in just my shirt—and even that is pushed up slightly.

I give a little surprised shout—almost using my safe word because I am so scared—my fur bristles—but then I feel him gently pushing up against my hips—his body is so warm—almost pushing me up against the wall—so much so that my chest is flat against it, and my ass sticking out.

“You smell so good,” he murmurs in my ear. “I want to hear that sound again. _Meow_ for me again.”

He licks the nape of my neck, lifts up my shirt and starts stroking my dick while pulling my hips back against his.

“Meow for me, little kitty.”

He brushes my entrance teasingly with his dick—I can feel him, hard and hot—and my gods—he is going to fuck me right here—in this alley while I’m standing up against this dirty wall.

“N-no,” I say, “N-not here,” But my back arches into his, my hips grind back against his, and he strokes me gently, my tail fluffs out wantonly. “It’s too dirty...”

He’s getting harder and hotter after hearing my refusal, and I feel his hands on my body right where I felt the sticky filth from the wall—almost like he’s spreading it over me.

“I like you dirty—I want to make you even dirtier, kitten.” I can feel him smiling into the nape of my neck, into my hair.

“S-someone m-might s-see—Ah!—us...” my voice trails off, as I am enjoying his touch on my body.

“Yeah—like _me_ —and I want to _hear_ you, too. So _meow_ for me again—don’t be difficult,” he purrs in my ear. 

I feel the tip of Rai’s dick pushing into me—just the tip—and he is holding my hips steady—and I figure now is the time to give it my all. I start to struggle—with all my might.

Of course, I cannot escape—which is terrifying in its own way, if I ever did want to escape and he didn’t want to release me. But I trust him—in everything—and I don’t really wish to escape, either. If I really wanted to escape, I would use my safe word. The more I struggle, the tighter his hands grasp my hips. My fluffy tail gives away my true feelings, as it lifts itself up, allowing and even encouraging his entrance, despite my struggle, however.

But I still play my part. 

“No!” I shout. “It’s dirty—get your hands _off_ me—I said _no_ —let _go_  of me—let me _go_ —Ah— _Please_ —Ah-Ah—Just-uh— _Please_ —just-uh...” small sighs and gasps are interrupting my struggle, however, which is making him hotter behind me.

Rai is _loving_ my struggle, and he is so hard—entering me ever so slowly, not allowing my hips to move, pressing me up against the wall, and he mutters low in my ear.

“You know, you really _will_ attract attention and someone _will_ see if you keep yelling with that gorgeous voice of yours.”

I am soundly licked from the nape of my neck to my jaw, and my shirt is pulled off my shoulder so he can bite me and hold me in place. He doesn’t break the skin—but I still struggle.

From my position, I arch back just a little and that makes him brush my prostate. My body freezes and I moan—and gods—that damned sound comes out again! 

“There we are— _you_ give me what I want, _I_ give you what you want. Go for it. Come on, now, kitten. I _know_ you want it.”

I arch back and push myself against him, but I want _him_ to move, too.

“Ah—please,” I beg—this time a loud gasp drops from my lips. “Please—won’t you—Ah!”

He thrusts his hips just right—and I’m shocked at the pleasure that rushes through my body—I _almost_ scream in pleasure—but it’s not a scream that comes out of my mouth. I’m actually so frightened of someone hearing us—someone walking around that corner and seeing me in this utterly deprived state—my gods—in public?!—all that comes from my mouth is that pathetic little meow! I’m so embarrassed—

“Oh, my _gods_ ,” I hear it breathed behind me. “ _Please_ —“

I’m shocked at the sound of Rai’s voice—it’s almost a wheeze.

“Rai—Ah—mmmmmmeeeow...” I try to make sure he’s all right, but he thrusts back into me again.

I feel a hand in my hair, my ears, stroking my fur, and one on my ass, massaging the base of my tail, and I hear a whisper.

“Again.  _Please_.” I have _never_ heard him beg—and I’m not exactly sure what he wants, but when he thrusts up and into my body, that sound reflexively comes out of me again.

“Oh, _Konoe_...” 

He’s out of character, I realize—and he starts to come undone—rapidly—and I see he is as close to his climax as I am to mine. His rhythm changes to something more urgent, faster, and he lowers his lips to my ear, continuing to whisper lowly—“ _please_ ,” over and over—and I oblige—helplessly—reflexively. That small, purring and now melodic meow continues to spill from my lips each time he thrusts into me. Finally, I reach my climax with a moan—and a longer, extended meow—and it sounds just like my song.

To my surprise, deep in my ear, it’s almost a purr, and so soft I almost miss it, and right as he spills hot and deep inside of me, I hear him:

“Meeeooow.” 

It makes my ears twitch, and it makes something come alive inside me—something basic, an instinct is tickled I’d long forgotten—a strange animalistic urge springs to life—and I want to _groom_ him—I have to lick him. _Right_ _now_. My purr changes into something completely different the moment I heard him meow, too. Is this what _he_ felt?

Maybe I didn’t _need_ to be so embarrassed? What _is_ this sensation? The desire to protect? A physical bond? A _need_ to connect? Something older or deeper than that? Something from childhood we’ve long forgotten?

He pulls out with a gentle, soft sigh, and I turn around and fall into his arms—no— _climb_  into them—though he is obviously spent. I push him up against the opposite wall of the alley with the weight of my body, which he catches easily, stroking my ass, my tail, my legs, letting me kiss and lick him, attack his ears, groom his hair, which is now getting so gross and dirty being pressed up against the wall—but I just need to _touch_ him—I need him _close_ to me—I need his fur in my mouth. Soft sounds are coming out of me—that gentle meowing purr—I cannot stop it—and it sounds... just like my song! Hearing him meow just once has done something strange to me.

“Oy,” he says. Then again, “Oy!” Slightly more urgent. Then he chuckles, one hand holding me up, the other brushing through the fur on my ears. “We need to get your pants back on before you gather a much bigger audience.”

“What?” I gasp—and from his tone, I know he isn’t joking, and my ears fill with heat before I can even look.

He tilts his chin toward the way we came in, and there—I recognize several patrons from the bar, including several regulars—and that tall Setsuran cat who tried to pick up Rai earlier.

Several of them are staring at us, and Rai tilts his head sharply, narrowing his eyes.

“Got something to say?” Rai’s voice cracks like a whip down the alley.

“When you said he was a Sanga—by Ribika—we had no idea he could sing like _that_!” one of the regulars says, amazed.

The blush in my ears goes from pink to red as I rush to pick up my pants and stumble back into them, and I notice the back of my Touga is shaking slightly. That worries me, but when I grab his hand to walk the opposite direction, he actually pulls me toward the crowd. When I peer up into Rai’s face, I’m alarmed for a moment. Is he angry? Is he going to start a fight?

But he’s actually _laughing_.

“Allow me to introduce you,” Rai says, spinning me around, once we get to the large group of onlookers. “Many of you will never have the privilege of hearing a genuine Sanga sing. But not only have you witnessed _that_ tonight—you heard _mine_ sing when he is _heat_ —and you will  **never**   **hear** **that** **again**. Count yourselves lucky. Have I made myself perfectly clear?” 

He twirls me into his arms and scoops me up, and carries me back to the inn—proud as can be—ignoring my blushing protests to put me down. I don’t fight terribly hard—I’m truly exhausted. But I’m a mess. And I still feel really weird. I can’t stop touching him.

He leads me straight to the back door to the bathing area where he gently strips the clothes from my body. I climb into the clear cold stream and wash, and to my surprise, he climbs in with me. There is very little room to move with both of us in there, but he soaps me up—cleaning off all the dirt from my body, from my hair, from my fur, my tail, even scrubbing my nails. He gives his own hair a quick shampoo and lets me scrub his back.

The water is slightly warmer with him with me, but I’m freezing by the time we are done. He wraps me in a towel—no robe—and steps outside, shakes himself dry, and uses the light robe for himself. He shushes me when I protest about wearing only a towel, pressing his lips to mine. 

“Just for a minute,” he says. And he brings me directly to our room, where he tucks me under the covers—nude.

”Don’t you move from this spot,” he commands.

He wanders out for a few moments and I feel terribly relaxed and very lonely. He’s gone for five minutes, but he brings back a mug of something for me to drink—it’s warm milk and honey—which he has made in the kitchen. It’s my favorite on a cold night. I sit up to drink it, and he strips off his robe and starts combing out his hair. Usually, that’s my job, but he shakes me off, telling me to drink up.

”Thank you,” Rai says, as he starts gently combing through my hair. 

“For the sex?” I tease. “I would have done that anyway.”

”No—for going out of your comfort zone. I could see you at war with yourself. It was incredibly cute. Like—afraid and overwhelmed. Why did you do it? Why didn’t you object? I would never insist. You really... also seemed to get into it, too, which surprised me.”

”Oh. I want to make you happy. Of course. But my body was doing its own thing. My body seems to enjoy making you happy—even more than my mind realizes. And you seem to be able to read me quite well,” I say. “It’s a little spooky.”

”Did I do something you disliked?”

”Uh—not exactly. But I was surprised I liked what you did... in the bar.” My volume drops a little.

”Oh—showing you off like I’m proud you’re mine? That couldn’t be helped. It was separate from the game. You’ve had that coming to you for a long, long time.”

” _What_?” I sputter, choking on my milk.

”Yeah, I see the way you sway your hips when you walk—you act like it’s all innocent and natural, but you’re not young enough to pull that off anymore. You’ve done it since I first met you. It’s why I had to kiss you by the river that day after Antou. No one ought to have hips like that.”

“I can’t help my shape!”

”No—but you can help your dress. Your walk. Your wiggle. But then again, I wouldn’t be able to admire you so easily.” My ear is licked gently after that comment. 

“So. It’s the same as your leathers, I guess,” I giggle.

”No. Your ass is different. It’s begging for additional attention, I think. I’d love to spank you in a public place.”

”Oh, my god,” I say, and a shiver rushes through me. It most definitely _isn’t_ fear. And that’s... _terrifying_.

”But that’s not what I need to talk to you about. I wanted to thank you for being flexible—and for... those soft sounds.”

Suddenly, my mug is taken from my hands, and Rai pushes me down to the bed. He is no longer wearing his robe, and he climbs on top of me and finishes braiding my hair—which feels terribly intimate from where he is sitting.

”You acted so embarrassedly at first—but they brought back a memory for me.”

”A memory? From your childhood?” I’m a little nervous.

”Yes. Those were considered childish sounds in my family—kittens make them when they needed something from their parents—and I—” Rai stops talking for a moment. 

I look up into his face, placing both my hands on his. I think I know what is coming. But I wait patiently.

”As you can imagine, I was discouraged from making those sounds. Even kittens five years old will meow now and then, and it’s perfectly natural. But my father didn’t think it was a healthy habit. He thought it fostered dependence and weakness, and it was beaten out of me.”

”Rai.” My heart breaks for the kitten he once was. Tears sting my eyes.

“But that is in the past. When I heard the sound from you—I thought—you—my Sanga—my beloved, cherished mate—trusts me enough to utter this sort of sound naturally before me—and I couldn’t even fathom it. I had forgotten what that sort of trust felt like. And all I wanted—when I heard it—was to hold you—make you feel safe—protect you—make you feel loved—and my gods, Konoe—you did this for me while you were going out on a limb for _my_ sake.”

”Rai,” I simply call his name. I don’t know what else to do.

”You trust me that much?”

”I do. I would follow you anywhere, do anything for you. I love you.”

”Konoe—I didn’t know if I could still do it—but more than anything, I wanted to show you what that sort of trust felt like. And so I tried to reciprocate.”

”I think you saw it worked, didn’t you?” I say, slightly embarrassed. “Enough so I forgot about my clothes, my surroundings, and everything around me. All I wanted was to touch you. It was an amazing experience. Is that really what it felt like when you heard me... meow?”

”Yes. And also—since your voice carries so well, probably what many of our onlookers felt when they heard you, too.”

”Oh, my gods!” I cover my face.

Rai laughs—openly, genuinely. And then, when it calms down, he is wearing such a strange, innocent expression. “Konoe—can I ask you something?”

”Anything.”

”Why would a parent  _not_ want to hear that sound from their child? Wouldn’t a parent be sad when their kitten stopped making that sound? Do you think I frightened them? Was I _too_ needy? I can’t ever remember being allowed to meow. I mean—my earliest memories are being beaten for making that sound, but not being able to speak. Why?”

”No—Rai—Please,” tears are spilling down my cheeks, and I sit up. “What your parents did to you was _wrong_. You did _nothing_ wrong. Of that—I am _sure_. Your meow was the most precious thing I have ever heard in the world—and you are not my child. I think your father was a coward, and he did not understand what strength truly was. I think he trusted no one. I think he didn’t even trust your mother, and she couldn’t stand up to him. But I—I am so sorry you were hurt in this way—and if I can be of any help now—I should love it—absolutely _love_ it—if you would like to meow for me anytime. I will always heed that call.”

”Will you do the same?” Rai asks softly, pulling me back into his arms.

”Of course.” I settle in, my belly warm, my heart warm, my ears being groomed gently as usual. I can expect a long night of grooming since it’s mating season.

”Can I hear it again now?”

”What—right now?” I ask, slightly taken aback.

”Please?” Spoken right into my ear—so softly. I _have_ to comply.

I curl up a little bit, and to my surprise, a soft meow comes out of my mouth with a purr—like it’s the most natural sound in the world.

Rai sighs heavily, but his grooming picks up with amazing urgency. I’m wondering if that was a mistake now, but he is purring, too. I don’t want to push him, so I simply rest in his arms and close my eyes, eventually dozing off to sleep.

But there are several times during the night I am woken from my sleep with the same quiet request.

“Meow for me, please?”

Each time, I oblige and am immediately assaulted by an onslaught of urgent grooming and touching—which I mind less and less. It feels quite nice, I think, and it helps me sleep. In fact, once, just for fun, I get up to get a drink of water. When I come back to bed, the silver cat is dozing. I cuddle up beside him, and I meow softly, purring gently, rubbing him with my nose. He is still slightly sleepy when I start drifting off, but within about five minutes—he is awake and grooming me again.

What a weird thing, I think. I actually kind of love it. It warms me—inside and out.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> There. I feel so much better!


End file.
